Why Practice Nonviolent Communication in a Divided World?

Do you ever scroll through your phone or watch the news and feel exhausted? Does it seem like our world grows more chaotic and divided every day? Maybe you have seen this in your own home, when a simple chat about politics or beliefs turns into a minefield. If so, you are not alone.

Many of us are feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and at times, hopeless.

We are wired for connection, yet our usual ways of talking often push people away. When we feel hurt or scared, we might blame others, judge their actions or tell them what they must do.

That reaction is natural, but it rarely brings the understanding or closeness we crave. It is like building walls when what we really need are bridges.

What if there were a simple, useful language made for bringing people together?

There is. It’s called Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and it’s one of the most practical and transformative skills I’ve encountered in my work as a psychologist. Developed by Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg, NVC is a simple roadmap that helps us express ourselves with honesty and listen to others with deep compassion. It’s a way to find the humanity in each other, even when we disagree.

NVC works by guiding our attention to four key areas:

1. Observations: Describe what you see or hear without adding any judgment. For example, rather than saying "You never listen to me," you could say "When I spoke just now, I noticed you were reading messages on your phone." This shared fact creates a neutral starting point

   
   

2. Feelings: Next, we share how we feel. This can be vulnerable, but it’s where real connection begins. We take responsibility for our own emotions. Instead of, "You make me angry," we say, "I feel angry."

   
   

3. Needs: Connect your feeling to a universal human need. For example, "I feel angry because I value respect," or "I feel sad because I need understanding." When we focus on needs—safety, belonging, autonomy—we move toward true conflict resolution.

   
   

4. Requests: Finally, we make a clear, positive invitation for something that would make life more wonderful. It’s not a demand. We might ask, "Would you be willing to put your phone away for a few minutes so we can talk?"

   
   

Let’s put it all together. Imagine a friend is late to meet you. Instead of greeting them with, "You're always late! It's so disrespectful!" (which is a judgment), you could try this:

"When you arrive 20 minutes after we agreed to meet (observation), I feel a bit sad and frustrated (feelings), because our time together is important to me and I have a need for reliability (needs). In the future, would you please send me a quick text if you're running late (request)?"

Can you feel the change? The first version attacks. The second invites genuine dialogue.

Even when politics or beliefs divide us, our needs remain the same—safety, community, a better future for our children. When we practice active listening to hear the needs behind someone’s words, we can find shared ground and a real sense of unity.

Learning this language of connection is an act of hope. It invites us to pause in moments of anger or sadness and ask, “What am I feeling right now, and what need lies beneath?” With each small step we take toward compassionate communication, we help build a more caring world, one conversation at a time.

Ready to explore Nonviolent Communication and resolve conflicts with confidence and kindness? Book a session to experience and learn practical skills for deeper connection.